Rita Perea Consulting

The Art of Getting Connected- Add Value!

Looking for a job?  A new client? A sale?  Being successful is all about being connected!

Meet my client, Hugh. Hugh is in his first year of being a marketing team manager for a very successful international software company. I was meeting with Hugh this weekend (yes, sometimes I work on the weekends).  He was having a real struggle admitting that he was wearing his "it's all about me!" pajamas.  This is the cozy little spot that self-centered people crawl into. The little hole they dig for themselves. It keeps them stuck and miserable.  I had to gently, and then not-so-gently point out to Hugh that the world does not revolve around him.  We explored how damaging this behavior had been to his connections.  People, prospects, co-workers, stopped having lunch with him. They wanted nothing to do with him. He had no friends.  Everyone was turned off. Hmmmm, I wonder why?

I love to read Jeffrey Gitomer's words of wisdom.  His Little Black Book of Connections talks about the importance of not being a parasite in the relationship.  It is important to be a giving party to keep the connection alive. Gitomer urges us to provide value to the relationship-  "Give first rather than 'ask for' first". Hugh is not the proud borrower of my copy of this book.

Mike Sansone, blogging Master of the Universe, talks about this too when he works with people new to the blogosphere.  He urges us to look at social media as a way to connect through having a conversation. The value that we add is in extending the conversation through the use of social media.  By doing this we can create world-wide connections.  The world is flat, you know.

In Trust Matters, Charles H. Green offers another thought about the importance of developing the connection habit.  "Be nice, competent and of service to everyone—as a habit.  Then when the uncontrollable comes around, you’ve got a reference."

When I work with organizational leaders, managers,aspiring managers or business owners we always take some time to discuss connecting with internal folks as well as external folks.  We define who the internal customers are, who the external stakeholders are, and who the target audience or clients are.  We then purposefully and thoughtfully plan strategic ways to connect to each group to add value. 

One of the simplest ways that we can add value to any connection we have, personal or professional, is to simply ask "How can I help you?"  This is is done from a giving stance rather than take, take, take, it's all about me. Exit Hugh who has some homework to do this week. 

What about you?  How can I help you get and stay connected?

How Do You Know When It's Time to Go?

“You gotta know when to hold ‘em; know when to fold ‘em; know when to walk away; know when to run.” As the Kenny Rogers song says, sometimes our only choice is to leave a bad job.

At a recent speaking engagement for  the Project Managers Institute, I shared with the stunned audience that a shocking 61% of employees received no praise in the workplace last year, according to Gallop research.  If you have a “bad boss”, you are 33% more likely to suffer a stroke.  In his book, Three Signs of a Miserable Job, author Patrick Lencioni discusses the symptoms of an intolerable job: Anonymity, Irrelevance and Immeasurement.

To determine if you are in a stinky job situation or not, ask yourself these three questions:

• Do I feel invisible at the workplace?  Anonymity, feeling invisible, is a sure sign that you might want to evaluate if this is the right place for you.
• Do I feel like my work does not matter?  Do I feel like I could go away and someone else could easily pick up where I left off?  Irrelevance, feeling like your work is unimportant to the organization, can degrade your self-worth and lead to unhappiness in the job world.
• Am I held accountable for what I am asked to produce or do? Immeasurement, not establishing benchmarks of performance, creates a sense of being unfulfilled as workers struggle to know if they are performing at the desired levels. 

If you are miserable in your job, chances are your health and your future are both being negatively affected. There is no work-life balance when all of your energy is going into an empty black hole.   If it is time to "fold ‘em”, be honest with yourself and look for a new workplace that will offer you a sense of fulfillment and happiness.  (And if you need a well-qualified personal coach to help you create a job search strategy, I bet I know where I can find one!)

The Gambler by Kenny Rogers from Lyrics Freak